FAQ'S

You can ring us and have a chat, or you can come in and see us. I recommend giving us a call first to make a time. It can be pretty nerve wracking just to walk into a place, but after a chat with Mike you’ll be set.

Not at all.  If you want to come and see us – just give us a call and we will arrange a time for you.

Nothing….wait what?!? Yes that’s right, we are a charitable trust whose focus is supporting our men and their whanau.

Well firstly, if you want someone esle to come and see us and they don’t want to – they don’t have to. However, you can come in yourself and discuss with Mike what you want to achieve and what you can achieve. You may have some legitimate concerns and one of the services we offer is support to family, whanau and partners.

It’s not much of a big deal, for whatever reason you come to our place. You’ll sit down, or perhaps over the phone have a chat with Mike about what’s going on. We don’t have to go into the nitty gritty details; he just needs to know what kind of support we can help with. He is a down-to-earth, straight talking kind of guy who has heard hundreds of stories. Once Mike gets to know you a little, you’ll discuss the support you may need. For example: if you wanted to see a counsellor, by this point he will have a good idea of who you might like to work with. If it is some sort of service we don’t provide – or help coping with a service, he will have some pretty good advice on what your next steps could be.

​Only you can decide what it is that you have been through or are going through, and what that means to you. We have people that you can chat with to help work through any concerns you may have. All concerns are valid.

Physical abuse is often the easiest form of abuse to identify for ourselves. When someone hits or threatens you and/or those around you with violence, this is physical abuse. This can happen to males at any age from anyone and can be preceded by emotional/mental abuse.

Emotional/Mental abuse is far easier to brush aside or be confused about. If spending time with someone significant leaves you feeling worthless, isolated and/or depressed, this may be a sign of emotional/mental abuse. People sometimes describe it as feeling like “…walking on eggshells”.

Sexual Abuse of children in New Zealand is prevalent, 1 in 6 boys under the age of 16 are sexually abused. The impacts of sexual abuse may become serious and lifelong; negatively affecting self, families, others and day-to-day life. Sexual abuse can often be about power rather than sexual attraction.

For more in-depth definitions and descriptions consider following these links: 

http://www.burstingthebubble.com/what-is-sexual-abuse.htm

http://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/defining-child-sexual-abuse

http://www.projectpave.org/6-types-abuse

Abusive relationships can occur to anyone at anytime in their lives and can cost us our happiness, goals and dreams.

Male Support Services Waikato are free and we offer:

• Counselling
• Confidential listening and care
• One-on-one and/or group work support
• Information and resources
• Crisis phone support 0800 MSSATW
• Workshops
• Support with court Hearings
• Whanau/Family support and advice
• Referrals for specialized support
• Advocacy in area of need you may have as a survivor

Mostly we laugh at ourselves and each other. It’s exhausting to sit around and cry all the time. Sometimes people might like to have a cry in a counselling session – that is up to them. Generally in the lounge and kitchen we keep things lighthearted, even when we’re talking about the serious stuff.

No. No one will know what you and your counsellor/psychologist/therapist spoke about unless you tell them yourself. Not your parent(s), not your partner, not even your dog. There are a few instances in which there is a requirement to disclose information to others and this will be outlined clearly in your first session. Generally this is if there is a fear that you are likely to harm yourself or others, or if there is serious concern for your safety. The counsellor or psychologist will discuss this with you before taking any action.

We see people from all walks of life, with all kinds of personalities, for all sorts of reasons. There are people who seek help understanding and dealing with the past, some who want to get a handle on their present situation, and others who want help creating their futures. We have people who want support escaping violent relationships, coping with dysfunctional relationships, dealing with childhood trauma, dealing with emotional and mental abuse, and depression. We have people come in for short term help and people who need a safe space for long term development.

Male Support Service Waikato is a charitable, not-for-profit organisation, so we can always use financial support. If you would like to make a contribution to our trust, we would be grateful. Please phone us. We also welcome expressions of interest from people who maybe able to support us in other ways. If you think you can help, please get in touch.  

No, we don’t.  It is not appropriate for people who have experienced childhood sexual abuse to have to work alongside perpetrators. There are other places for perpetrators or people who feel in danger of perpetrating.

Places for people who have or fear they may commit a sexual offense include:

Safe: http://www.safenetwork.org.nz/

Wellstop: http://www.wellstop.org.nz/about-us